Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

"I ain't a cuddler I fu@k the drool out of a chick” and my roomies stay home

My roomies are such home bodies. If there was any doubt of that, tonight’s discovery proved it. I borrowed my roomies keys last week to make copies. I accidentally placed the wrong keys on his key chain and he never discovered the problem, I finally discovered it when I realized that I had a few too many keys.

They are a great couple but they never leave the apartment. I on the other hand seem to leave it too much. I went out drinking with my new neighbors tonight (some USD undergrads). For much of the night the mantra that kept rolling through my brain was “stay out of trouble man, stay out of trouble” of course since I like to pretend that I am a humorist even when talking to myself this line also scrolled through my brain “her name is not trouble” the rest is I think a little too graphic for the blog.

“It feels so good to live sucka free Im soakin it all up while your girls suckin me
I mean the world to her its nothin but a nut to me look miss get a drink and let a mutha fucka be…
I ain't a cuddler I fuck the drool out of a chick”
--Hands up by Lloyd Banks
I was listening to this in the gym and had to grab my ipod to play the song again because I thought that I must have been mistaken on the lyrics…ah the joy of being a rap star where common decency is not required and you can say any and everything and sadly women still flock to you.

2 comments:

Abeni said...

Fame and money attracts them all time.

Mad Bull said...

Yeah, its like they can do no wrong! Crazy world. Hey when you tun inna big lawyer like that one that defended OJ Simpson, you'll be able to do the same thing, Cali-J.

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.