Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, September 25, 2006

“I am no back burner bitch” NY

How tall/big/HUGE is Deelishus? When she and Flav passed out on the bed it looked like mini me and an Amazon! VH1 could have warned peeps that the “following scene will involve Flav passing out betwixt the legs of a giant woman (spread-eagled) this may be too much for our sensitive viewers”. I am surprised that Flav passed out after Deelish was blatantly looking to give it up to him, I am no expert in the ways of hooch, but something tells me that when a girl kneels on the bed with her legs spread and an inviting look on her face, she is looking for you to ‘knock ‘em out the park, knock, knock ‘em out the park’

Seeing Flav in the winery all that came to mind was ‘fish out of water’. Did they list what winery that was? Because I do not want any wine coming from that place, not a drop. Yes I know it is a tradition to have peeps stomp with their feet, I am fine with that, what I am not fine with is any winery allowing Flav, NY and Bootz free reign of their vine yard…that is just irresponsible.

“Flav took me…We basically took a chunk out of each other…we chunked up the rest of the night” Oh man! So I had a fever last night and it was at this point I had to stop watching and wait till today to watch because I figured I must have been wrong in what I thought I heard. Did NY really describe sex as “taking a chunk out of each other”? Those strangled cries from the bedroom could not be called moans! It was like watching the Discovery channel when they show Rhinos mating and you hear the bellows when the animals meet – I refuse to believe that the noises coming from behind that closed door were the sounds of coitus because that was not human!

Haha watching Flav try to stretch out the clock ceremony (wow never would have thought I would use a phrase like ‘clock ceremony’ back in the day) was amazing, I love the look Big Rick gave him a cross between “Man I cannot believe I have to work for you” and “If you were not paying me all this damn money I would knock you the hell out!”

Bye, bye Bootz, you were cool but the celibacy thing is just not going to cut it with Flav, especially if you can’t wail like a wild animal from a safari!

On the promo for next week, did NY’s mom really pull the “I am dying card”?

Has Flav no shame how many kids did he trot out to examine, these women, he looks like he has a full football squad plus subs!

6 comments:

Abeni said...

Man,Flav sprawled out on Deelish was sickening.How you love Deelish throwing up because Flav was getting it on with Krazy.

New York and Flav sex scene was scary.Maybe she hoping second time is a charm.I beginning to feel Flav will chose her and then they will both have a reality show.

I missed all the winery bit since the relatives had me busy.

Cali J said...

U have got to see the winery bit...relatives are not that important (for future reference)...get a DVR it is awesome and that way you can pretend to care about your relatives while knowing that your show is safe for later viewing. Thankfully VH1 plays FOL a million times a week so I am sure u will catch it

Melody said...

Nope, definitely not interested in that winery or any other winery him & dem get up to. They were kneelin' -- crotches wide open -- in de grapes. Ugh. Bootz did not let that ?? into her body -- very cool decision.

Unknown said...

Don't watch that show. I find it silly that they're continually fighting over him. Not like he's that great of a catch.

Cali J said...

Leon man how can you voice such sacrilege. Why wouldn’t women chase after a man that has more kids than IQ points, a man who uses words like ‘brootaful’ as in “Imagine you and me making love on a beach that would be really really brootaful” A man so dark, skinny and greasy that he looks like a single Jeri-curl the man sounds like the perfect catch!

Abeni said...

Finally saw the winery bit.Yuk,is all I have to say.BTW,was that a condom Bootz passed over to Flav when she was leaving? Priceless,lol

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.