Infrequently updated consistently funny

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm in love with a stripper and Costco

My new favorite song “I’m in love with a stripper” How can you beat lyrics like “yeh Mike Jones…she’s every man’s dream, God’s gift to earth, women they love them too that’s what you call a woman’s worth...she slides up and down that poll got me mesmerized” –T-Pain and Mike Jones

Costco is the devil’s playground, even with a list and a set of instructions I find myself leaving the damn place with more food than a Ugandan family of 4 could consume in 2 months. Did I really need 4 tubes of toothpaste and a gallon of mouthwash? We have more Costco stuff here than in the damn store. Yet how could I resist buying enough cinnamon toast crunch that I could paper the bottom floor of the law school? I am still uncertain how I found the strength to resist buying the 3 gallons of lotion, when I do need a bottle of lotion. This is a bit mean but I love when I see dorky looking guys buying the 50 pack box of condoms – no wait a minute that just makes me sad and I refuse to state why…Anyway U can’t beat the Costco prices for lunch…can a hotdog and soda really be that cheap and have actual food product?

I love the VH1 episodes of Ego Trip’s Race-o-Rama: “tragic mulato”

“They call me Paletero man”

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.