A bit long but damn it I saved THREE lives! and got some boob

So it has been awhile since I related a life experience rambling blog you know akin to the legendary Ms. 70 (still wondering if it was wise to delete that number).

Anyway here goes the story:
So I went to give blood today and had to go through all the usual pre donation rituals (fill out the question and answer stuff etc – Still always wonder about some of those answers: I answer truthfully but I just can’t know for sure: like when the question is “Do you ‘know’ anyone who accepts sex for money or drugs etc” I should just be able to respond with I WENT TO LAWSCHOOL at some point all of those questions will apply to someone I have come in contact with.) and the nurse assigned to aid me was beautiful let me say that again she was bee-yoo-tee-full.

So I had to go into the small room with the nurse to do my screening and I was told to sit down and extend my arm to have my blood pressure taken. Well I did it like all guys do, I extended the arm with the palms up and the hand in a slightly cupped form UNFORTUNATELY the nurse leaned forward to apply the stethoscope to my arm while doing so her breast fell perfectly into the cup of my arm. Honestly if anyone walked in we would have looked like 2 teenagers hiding out in the back of a 92 stanza.

So now I have a nurse’s chesticle firmly in my hand and I have no idea what to do (and no squeezing it was not an option) I didn’t want to move my hand because I was afraid that that would have given away the fact that I was conscious of the boobage in the hand. I didn’t want to say “excuse me but I think I got you” so I just left my hand there and could feel my blood pressure rising. I wanted her to retake it but had no clue how to explain to her that I had basically just increased my blood pressure because of something that should be so innocent (did I mention she was hot?) so my blood pressure came in at 126/70 and I really would love to know what it could have been.

But then I stride out of the room still high on the joy of “I am about to give blood” (you know the slogan if you give blood you save 3 lives) and I am thinking ok we took care of that so I get in the chair to give blood while ‘chatting’ up the nurses all female by the way ( I have never seen a male nurse at the red cross – I smell discrimination) and the guy across from me is freaking out because it is his first time giving blood and I am smirking at him because the man is at least late 30s and he is giving blood to have it stored for his OWN surgery - Which was something I had never thought of but it makes so much sense why not save your own life if you know surgery is coming up. But I find it hard to imagine a grown man freaking out giving blood that is for his own purpose but that’s just me.

So after strutting and thinking that I am the hot stuff, life saving, breast holding, non-crying blood donor I get in my car look down and realize that my zipper has been down for the whole damn time and not only is it down but underwear is peeking out (always wear a good pair) and the manly decision to take a flaming bright pink bandage for the arm is not looking as good in bright sunshine!