Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The gov ruins my diet, lesbians and Sunday dinner

They need to stop running those ads that are supposed to warn parents about child hood obesity, the message might be important but damn the ads are ruining my diet: Bloody ad comes on and starts talking about Soda, doughnuts, cake, cookies, ice cream, chips damn it, is this an ad or a temptation brought to life? Every time I see the bloody ad I start to snack! Can I sue someone over this…the money I get from that would hire a chef and cure my obesity!

What is it about guys and our egos that if we can’t get someone she must be a lesbian and if we think we have a shot at someone even if she looks and acts 100% like a lesbian she must be bi-sexual? It is amazing to watch and observe. I have not yet played the” oh she didn’t like me so she must be a lesbian” card but I fear that it is coming, I have seen too many of my fellow man play it to be overly confident that I will never play it. So sometimes I enter a bar and all I can do is people watch. Those nights usually happen when I am ill; not that in the mood to party; playing wingman; or just plain in the mood to people watch.
     So I am slowly watching a colleague of mine evolve into a pimp/mac/slut whatever term you would like to use, and it is bloody funny!

So I have seen on a preview that the kids on American idol will be singing the songs of Queen next week – way to keep it relevant to the young folks, but beyond that aren’t Queen’s songs better suited to loud screaming vocals than solo artists? ‘Crazy little thing called love’ might be the best suited for a soloist, but what of the persons who get ‘Another one bites the dust’ or ‘We are the champions’ (or will that be saved for a group sing along). Guess this means Queen has an album coming out!

Today’s Sunday dinner menu:
Keeping it basic; Special fried rice (chicken, pork, Chinese sausage and shrimp) and jerk pork. I may if not feeling too lazy make some apple tarts or turnovers, I don’t think I have enough apples for a pie. And have to finish it all off with a milk shake! I dare say I enjoy Sundays!

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.