Infrequently updated consistently funny

Sunday, April 16, 2006

What kind of father are you?



So a kid in church today looked a lot like Derrick Zoolander’s kid, halfway through the sermon I think he shot me BLUE STEEL!

Am I wrong (probably) to think that the parents on Parental Control (MTV show where parents who do not like their child’s significant other pick 2 dates for them to go on in the hope that at the end of the dates she/he will pick their candidate and dump the current bf/gf) are basically WHORING their kids out and creating the future sluts of America…such a bad concept! Plus no real parent would sit there and let these kids trash talk them the way they do; someone must have sedated these fathers before they let their daughter’s bfs talk about how much a slut their daughter is!

Looking at the Bar Review pics for this week either I was having the best day of my life; or I have finally learned to smile in pictures (ok truth be told I have been practicing laughing right at the moment of the picture so as to stop my [now] natural inclination to mean mug in the pic)

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.