Crazy end to FOL

So I got called out and rightfully so for not posting a blog update to the latest FOL…in my defense I really had wanted to give more peeps time to view the madness that my friends and I witnessed on Sunday. If you do not want to know the results of the episode, I suggest you stop reading now, I also suggest that you have never read my blog b4 since I always give FOL updates so this was not a safe site to check with that all out of the way.

NY did not win! Which lead to a classic moment in TV: There is the black phrase of “Showing your ass” i.e. acting up/unruly etc and NY when Flav rejected her decided to take it to a literal meaning. Many have suggested that she is just acting for the cameras, and while I do believe that to a certain degree she is, I also firmly believe that she is genuinely crazy. I mentioned last week that my greatest fear was that she and Flav would reproduce, his not picking her lessens those chances but the fear remains because no one can convince me that NY and Flav use condoms when they “Chunk it up all night”

During the episode Flav warned NY that he did now want a woman commanding him all the time and he dropped a hint to the audience that if NY acted like her mom she would be booted. On their date Flav reminded NY that she should not act like her mom and what does NY immediately do ACTS LIKE HER DAMN MOMMA – nature vs nurture is not a debate in that family: NY has combined both it is who she is and it is how she was raised: The term bitch is thrown around too much in society and I have made a conscious effort to limit my use of the term (have not succeeded as well as my efforts to never say “Fuck or shit” in conversation, in speech or in public – that has gone 14 years now) however while watching FOL I constantly find myself staring at the screen and saying the words “wow that is a crazy bitch!” when either NY or her mom are on screen…

Quick digression I used the word ‘wow’ above but thanks to Flav I think I may start to limit my use of that term also. I have never heard a grown man use that word so much nor have I ever seen it drawn out for a minute woooooooooooooowwww…you get the picture – in the scene when Flav receives the cane from the Belize tourism group (a mark against that country in my travel plans) Flav says wow for so long that when the camera shows the face of the Belize rep he looks like he cannot believe that he drew that assignment. Props to Flav for finding a way to hold the cane backwards despite the fact that it was clearly designed to be only held one way – the man is a genius and I expect him to be up for a Nobel Prize next year, anything less is a travesty!

I loved NY pretending for what looked like about 10 minutes that she would not sleep with Flav the night b4 elimination. As soon as she initially told him that she would not sleep with him and started to walk to her room I said this to my boy “I bet she goes to her room and walks right back to Flav”. Her only major delay was for her to pack an overnight bag. I did not see that one coming, guess she needed crazy pills.

K so it is no secret that I am an intensely private person (even with a blog I still keep much hidden) hell my doctor still has not seen me naked (screw her for turning down that date…so what if it was awkward – kidding). But I do know for a fact that no one in my family has seen me naked since I was about 10 in fact I have maintained that if any of my parents fall ill I will have to get a full time nurse because I will not be able to do things like bathe a parent – not because I do not love them but because that is just not what we do as a family, nudity is just not ok with us. So maybe I am not the best to judge on what is normal nude behavior, BUT I cannot imagine that most families with 23 year old daughters have conversations between the mother and daughter that involve the daughter topless and arguing with the mom like NY did unless the conversation has words like “Does this feel like a lump” or “Is it normal for it to look like this” (Again I do not know if peeps normally talk to their parents nude, I can only say that for me it just seemed weird )

I loved NY alternately going from being friendly to Deelishus (My poor MSN word keeps making alternative word suggestions for that word) and trying to be the world’s skinniest big bitch to her, especially since at that point nothing she could do to D would affect Flav’s decision. I think that is part of the definition of being a bitch, just doing something bitchy for the hell of it, when there does not seem to be any gain to be had.

If you have read this blog anytime recently, you know that I love the chicken noodle soup dance, even if the songs lyrics are just plain retarded (funny though). But my new favorite dance is the dance that Flav did while mocking NY’s mom and gesturing towards NY…it is a combination of fanning your genitals while scratching to remove crabs all in one fluid motion  (the dance may have been borne out of a practical need). NY’s dance in response to Flav was awesome, though not the biggest fan of NY I was shocked and pleased to see that the gyal cyan whine. She did that slow grind to the floor like a certified Ho-fessional. If the reality TV thing does not work out I can definitely see her gracing the floor of Scores we already know she has G strings that can fit dollar bills.

The thing is, the person I feel most concerned about in this whole situation is not even a contestant, it is Deelishus’ daughter. Because this means that her mom is crazy enough to date Flav and Flav might now be a part of her life. Wait a minute who am I kidding, Flav is not even a part of his own kids’ lives – there is no way he takes charge of another.

Some Flavisms that I love:
“She make a brotha feel real goooood!”
“That was really broootaful” – beautiful the uneducated (or to the highly educated)
“SNOREEEEE” I have never seen a man fall asleep on so many dates – must be good to know that no matter what you do on the date you are guaranteed to get laid.
“Let me turn my clock around so that I can hug you” (when your outfit requires that you adjust a wall clock so that you can comfort or show affection it is time for you to reexamine it)
“NY you need to get the fuck out of here” So granted it is not a Flavism as such since I only heard him use it once, somehow I imagined millions across America cheering and repeating those words.

By the way for a show that so many claim to ‘scorn’ it gets HUGE ratings and very few people are ignorant of it. Like Chris Rocks analogy with the Spice Girls and crack: No one admits to using but millions are addicted.

You might have noticed not much is said about D here, but lets be honest the show was dominated by Flav and NY…no one really cares if D and Flav live happily ever after, in fact we do not expect it but we were all intrigued with what Flav and NY would do next…well next for NY is her own show! I am not sure if I will be able to stomach watching that…though I probably will to see if she becomes the first person to ever be taken of her own show for a mental breakdown!

Cheers to a great season of FOL and hopes that the reunion show will not disappoint.
Quick note: in the preview Buckwild is shown throwing something at NY. What is up with white girls constantly trying to pick fights with NY from a distance? (And did she not see what happened to Pumkin). NY is crazy and you cannot fight crazy unless you are also crazy hence the other clip that shows Bootz chasing after NY – that I can understand, cause I wouldn’t put it past Bootz or Bucky “to cut a ho!”