Infrequently updated consistently funny

Monday, June 27, 2005

Why would you say that to me?

Memo to ex-gf and any other people that fall in or around that category; ending a phone conversation with the words “I gotta run I have to go lick whipped cream off someone!” is not guaranteed to illicit a good response from me. What am I supposed to say; “Go get ‘em; Atta girl; You the champ; No one licks like you?

(Knowing my life there will probably be many posts with this title in the future)

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Cali-J ueber alles in der Welt. Some think that I am mean; (I call them friends), in fact I am not that mean. What I am is sarcastic and dry to the sandpaper level. I have friends that I have never said a kind word to their face, but I praise to the ends of the earth to anyone I know and will defend them to the end. That’s just how I roll! My boys know that I am down for them, my girls know that no matter what I will keep them safe (and occasionally flirt with them [If you are a female friend of mine and think I haven’t flirted with you it just means you didn’t notice, it was extremely subtle or…not yet ]). No one is safe from my sarcasm even my own parents; hence of course as a kid I spent a significant amount of time in punishment. I treat people with respect if I think they deserve it – everyone starts off with the same amount of respect from me (a lot). You don’t need to earn my respect; you have to keep my respect.