Obama, New Yorker Cover...

Ok let us get this out off the bat: I love satire, I love when peeps push the envelope, I do not think this is one of those times!

The New Yorker magazine decided to put up a cartoon on its cover with Barack and his wife fist bumping while the American flag burns in the fireplace. Obama is in Muslim garb, his wife is wearing an Afro (note she does not have one in real life), and camo clothing, with an Ak-47 on her back and spare ammo, in the background is a portrait of America's #1 enemy Osama bin-Laden.

The NY'er is defending its decision by releasing this press release: "“On the cover of the July 21, 2008, issue of The New Yorker, in ‘The Politics of Fear,’ artist Barry Blitt satirizes the use of scare tactics and misinformation in the presidential election to derail Barack Obama’s campaign.”
(wanted to make sure their statement was in there)

Look it is all well and good to do satire, but come on, on your front cover, you put up that sensational image, it was there to provoke but the problem is, in this climate where so many see Barack and his wife as the Anti-american candidate (and if you doubt me, look at the protests of his speech here in San Diego) putting something like that on the cover not only sparks debate (which is good) it re-enforces stereotypes...BAD!

Come on, was it necessary to give his wife an Afro, to have them fist bump? Why put Obama the non-muslim in full garb? And of course to re-enforce the muslim = bad and osama = obama mindset, let us just throw a picture of Obama in the background and burn the flag!

Look racism is still prevalent in America, no matter how much peeps want to pretend it is not and sweep it under the rug. A cover that makes Obama out to be a threat to the country and his wife a BLACK PANTHER (because trust me, that is the image that comes across, especially to the older-voting demographic that he so desperately needs) is irresponsible and does not come across as satire.

Again, why re-enforce the fears that some harbor? Why could you not put this in an EDITORIAL?

I read somewhere that 15% of the country thinks Obama is muslim, thanks NY'er for re-enforcing that. And this is even after the Rev. Wright controversy. Look we all know many people are stupid, hell some of my own friends are stupid (they are not close), why help their close-mindedness by making him look muslim? Since we know that America is not ready for a Muslim president?

As a commenter on wired.com noted, The New Yorker would never have taken the chance to put a cartoon of John Mccain on the cover as a Slave owner, or a Redneck gun toter, but Obama was fair game like this?

Shame on you New Yorker, what could have been a social commentary is now just a blatant attempt to sell magazines

I like this alternate cover that was proposed via The Dish Rag By Elizabeth Snead that I found on La Times.com






Sorry the blog has become so political, you know it is all about what I like, and right now I like politics!

Eddie Murphy to retire from films for Stand Up?

Look I think Eddie's movies get a bad rap! But, damn I really, really, really want him to get back into doing stand up. So if it means I never have to see another Eddie Murphy fat suit, I am cool with the loss.

Eddie in an interview hinted that Beverly Hills Cop IV might be his last movie!
"Thirty years and I have close to 50 movies and it is like, `Why am I in the movies? I've done that part now.'

"I'll go back to the stage and do stand-up."

I never got to see Richard Pryor live, but know this, if I get a chance to go see Eddie, I am definitely going.

I love his explanation for making B H C 3 (kind of sounds like what he would say in a stand up routine): "The (third) movie wasn't ready to be done and they (producers) wrote some s**t down on paper and I said, `Is this

your phone number?' and they said, `This is how much we're going to pay you.'

"I said, `Let's go shoot it! I don't care if the script ain't right.'"--Source IMDB quoting WENN who were quoting Eddie's interview on one of those damn evening Entertainment shows that all seem the same and for some reason I was actually watching at the time...nearly fell out of my seat, I was so happy.

Obama inspires another rap song!

In light of the Jesse Jackson statements this week, I figured I would post a 'fairly' funny vid re Obama. (In the interest of full disclosure I should say I did not make it all the way to the end of the vid, before I switched over to listening to AMG's classic "better have my money")

I found it entertaining that he rapped over the 'a millie' beat, that would make it about the millionth track on that beat. Heck I even have one. But that stays hidden...for now!



Something tells me the Johnny Mc, vids are not going to be as forthcoming from the hip hop generation.

manny pacquiao beats Diaz....a new CHAMP is here!

(found this in my blog drafts I suspect the death of K.G. is what made me hesitate to post this at the time I wrote it ---it was rough, but I did not bother to clean it up, have fun)

I was actually adjusting my watch to head out to the bar to go see the PPV fight of Manny Pacquiao v David Diaz, only to realize that the Mexican station that I pick up from Tecate had the fight on??? Initially they were just showing the undercard so I thought "probably will not show the main event then the announcer said "Pacquiao de Philippines" he said alot more but "yo necessito practicar mi espanol mucho" and if that sentence is wrong...then it has made its point.

I had always thought this station was some boot-leg station and I still think it is, but whatever, it just saved me having to go to a bar and paying to see the fight. Big deal if I understand every 5th word, I probably would not have heard anything in the bar anyway and this way I am not tempted to drink at all.

The Spanish broadcast is using its own ring-girls: muy caliente. See I am getting into the spirit of it.
(When does the announcer scream GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Really? not in boxing? Damn!)

A man in the crowd has a sing reading, "Pac-Man, Marry Me!" Hmm?

Manny is just tattooing David, there is no way this fight goes 12 o doce (I hope you get my punto)

Both fighters seem to respect each other, Diaz certainly respects Manny's jab, he has seen so much of it.

If I keep watching will I learn spanish?

I think Manny is winning every round, the Spanish announcers agree with me (they said it + they showed the graphic so I do not have to guess that I got what they said right).
[post fight I checked all the judges agreed with me too]

Damn Manny landed a right hook that made me jump, and I am sitting at home, this fight is not going the distance. Props to David for being up this long, this is 6 rounds in and he looked dead on his feet in rounds 4 and 5

Looks like they are trying to use Superglue to close that wound

Has there been another Asian fighter that gets as much love as Pacquiao? I have been raving about him since I first saw him fit at 106, to give an idea how long ago that was, he is about to become the champ at 135 and has won at every level coming up.

With Mayweather out, I suspect he is the new lb for lb king.

Doc checks eye- says go on
Doc checks eye...looks a little more carefully, says go on...doc looks around to make sure promoter is cool...says go on (ok maybe the last part did not happen, but seriously the doc only looks like he is just inspecting for show)

The cut looks ugly, only thing that can rival it in size is the grand canyon.

Diaz is going to go down, there is no doubt he is going...oh damn, he just got knocked out. The ref did not even bother to count, he just declared the fight over.

- I like that Manny first checked on Diaz before celebrating shows concern and respect, props to Manny.

This is not fight of the year, actually Manny's last fight so far is. (versus Marquez, it was closer and no domination by either boxer) But, this gets props for being a clinic on how to decimate an opponent.


Went from boxing into an infomercial about hair extensions look I can barely understand what they are saying, but I love this infomercial. Many peeps know my shameful secret that I love infomercials, they are funny even when u cannot understand them - I loved them in Florence!

Kamau Graham's Funeral

is Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 10am at the UWI Chapel. Interment follows at Dovecot.
- -No floral tributes.

To all those located back home, who can go, please go and support the family and friends.
If one can say there is any good to come from a funeral, it is the fact that we can go and celebrate life by seeing many whom we have lost touch with. Go give someone a hug, or a pound or just a head knock, but just go!

Kamau was a member of the Campion College class of 1995 but he touched many more than just his classmates.

R.I.P. Kamau.

Thanks to Mario and Kamau F. for sending me the funeral details.
(Sorry I took so long to post I was out of town)

Something to lighten the mood, plus as a fan of Jamaican track I cannot help taking shots at Carl Lewis

Carl Lewis was shocked that peeps suspected he was gay? Look I think a man can act feminine and not be gay, after is that not why we have the term effeminate? Of course though, at the same time that is too often a means of trying to demean a man. I think the big issue was that peeps just did not like Carl and looked for any means to discredit him. And back then (sadly even now) throwing the gay card is a strong means of bringing down a celebrity.

Peeps are too quick to throw out the gay tag, but this vid could not have helped his 'standing'. Trust me watch the whole video, it will make you laugh. Whomever did his makeup was definitely an enemy of his!



Carl Sings the US National Anthem
This moment was great, because it was actually before a Bulls game and Jordan is openly laughing at Carl and shaking his head. Look at players trying to hide their faces!


I guess if I am clowning National Anthem performances this has to be added...plus it was done in SD

California Hands-free law takes effect today!

The new cell phone law goes into effect for Cali today. Remember starting today, to talk on your cell phone while driving a car you must use a hands-free kit or risk a ticket.

Figured I would share this picture that I have gotten in countless emails as the Jamaican Hands Free Cell phone. If you take close note you will see it will save you money on traditional hands-free services.

(Plus the last few days have been so grim, I figured a decent laugh could never hurt)

Happy Birthday

Swiffer Sheet V!

Thanks for staying on the phone with me for my cookie run. I am thinking the 2 miles round trip helped to burn of at least 2 of the 6 cookies!

Father Forgive them! R.I.P. Kamau G.

One of my friends and colleagues from High School (Campion) has passed away. I do not know all the details, I do not even know exactly when his death occurred. What I do know is that I have lost another person that made my life better when I was a young one, and made the lives of others richer.

He was always smiling, he was a great chap. From the Pagoda to scrimmage to just shooting the breeze, waiting in the parking lot.

Like many of my friends whom I did not stay in contact with after high school (mainly because I left Jamaica) my image of him is always in Khaki uniforms. I can see it now, shirt slight ruffled because a whole day of school has gone through, everyone jostling each other, yelling out "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" when someone trips. There was nothing but joy back in high school. Even death was fleeting, we lost a friend our last year of school and we just celebrated their life and did not dwell on the pain. But now that I have gotten older, death hits me harder. I realize that, it is actually something I cannot stop, it creeps towards me. As I heard a couple weeks ago "Life is a terminal illness."

Kamau was always in my mind, incredibly strong. He was fast, I mean 'do not bother racing him, he will kick your ass' fast. When someone whom I can only remember as the epitome of fitness and vitality passes in a sudden shocking manner, it is hard to believe because all I can remember them as is living life to its utmost.

My friend Derrick said this as we were exchanging shock about the news:
"In my opinion people need to stop dying.

Don't die Aaron."

I love Derrick, he knows the best things to say. It put a smile on my face and reminded me, to just keep on living, and come what may...don't die!

I'm sure I could with time, sit down and write a better blog, a better memorial, but then it would never be as true as this one is, and never be as raw as this one feels right now. I miss the kid. I hate that my friends have to die. I know that they must, I know that we all must. I know I will. And when my time comes, may I face it with dignity. But for now, I must mourn another friend. I must say a prayer for his family, and I must face the shocking reality that I did not stay as close in touch with him as I should have.


Father, forgive me!

To all my other friends, I pray for you, I pray for your health, I hope we all live to the age where we can look back and talk about "When I was young we used to do this..."

Rest In Peace, Kamau Graham!

Norbrook Massive STAND UP! Rep your hood...and all sorts of slang that sounds funny coming from 'The brook'

Look, I acknowledge that Norbrook is filled with rich socialites and politicians. I acknowledge that much of the power of Jamaica is concentrated in the various Upper Saint Andrew districts. I humbly acknowledge that I was lucky to spend some of my formative years living in Norbrook (thanks to the Father above, and the Father on earth, we have been blessed).

And if there was ever any doubt that Norbrook considered itself upper-crust, and wanted to make sure it stayed that way, one would only have to look to the fact that the party 'Contagious' scheduled for Friday in Norbrook has been canceled: I now quote from this article on RJR's website

"Mayor of Kingston Desmond McKenzie said the decision followed numerous complaints from the police and residents who also filed a petition requesting that no further licences be granted for the staging of these dances and parties in the up-scale residential area."
---Sure anyone cared about the police requests.

"Mayor McKenzie said the KSAC will not be issuing any more licences for the staging of any such events in this area."
--Hahah a whole neighborhood has been purged of parties in one fell swoop...hmm sounds like some pressure was put upon the Mayor. I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that in that same neighborhood there are peeps that dominate the radio waves (not even talking bout my own pops, he shares his grievances in private), or the fact that 2 former Prime ministers have homes there. Nothing to do with the heads of 3 banks living on the main road. And nothing to do with the fact that almost every house there has a minimum of 2 cars and if only 2 are present one must be a luxury vehicle! Hell, my neighbor is an Ambassador, 3 doors down is a High Commissioner, and 2 blocks down is his mistress!

I hate to say it, and I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with my breeding and where I grew up, (the Golden Triangle, then 'The Brook') but a few years ago I went back home and there was a party in the 'hood and I was shocked to see 'certain persons' walking through the area: Now note, I did not judge these persons, I was actually attending the very same party, but I was shocked because I remember a time when peeps would call the police to chase 'undesirables' out of the neighborhood.

It is honestly funny to me the power and cockiness of the Norbrook neighborhood, a neighborhood that I knew NOTHING about until the moment my parents decided to go house shopping when I was a kid...shows just how little I cared back then (and now, though now u have to say it to believe it) about power and privilege. I had no idea that to own a house in Norbrook was supposed to be a rich thing---even now I still doubt it, but this article makes it harder to swallow.

Imagine a whole suburban area here in America saying "we are too good to have parties here, do it in another area", because believe me, that is exactly what happened.

To close, I remember chuckling once when a neighbor ranted to me about parties and "people who live in apartments" moving into Norbrook: "That shit might be fine in ghettos like Cherry Gardens but this is Norbrook". I almost choked on my Red Stripe to hear this man call Cherry Gardens ghetto. For my San Diego friends, Cherry Gardens would be like La Jolla...nothing to sneeze at!

Yup (soon to be ex-wife), this is what you have to look forward to when we visit

"Kobe tell me how my a@@ tastes" --Shaq and the Cali J loses weight

Looks like the feud has not ended!
But we will get to that in a second. I am worn out 2nite. Hit the gym, and tried to double the size of my chest in one night (it did not happen). I know I have not been giving regular updates on my gym progress but that is because I have set goals for the Sept 24th deadline and while I am on pace for them, I figured no need to give constant updates. Anyway I will just give a basic run down of how it goes.

My goal has been to get down to 185lbs by the 24th (should be a national holiday, but that will prolly happen when I die). I am a couple months ahead of schedule on that goal, not there yet, but closer than I thought. Note I am coming down from 232, when I started the goal, and a high of 236 at one point.

My strength has improved, my speed has improved and my stamina has improved. Sadly those who know me in person, know my knees are shot but even with my 80 year old knees I have improved.

I have suffered a variety of injuries, which is of course to be expected when you set a goal to lose almost 50lbs. I had stress fractures in both feet (horribly painful), I rolled my right ankle so badly that for awhile I thought I had torn a tendon. My chest and arm routine took a hit when I suffered a dislocation of my shoulder (not the first, so something I was able to deal with and did not cause depression). The latest set-back was the infamous late night cracked toe. Nothing like kicking a laptop (accidentally) while barefoot to ensure that you are not running for a month.

I can finally do sit ups without looking around for a sip of water and a break.

I can finally break a 10 minute mile, again for most peeps that is no biggie, but if you had my knees and were coming from where I am coming from you would be ecstatic.

(I should add, when I was fitter, I would routinely do 8 minute miles, even though I jogged every day while in high school, I could never do fast miles, I suspect 8 minute miles will be the goal for next year - oh and look morons out there...before you say something dumb like..."who cannot run an 8 minute mile?" I can run one now, but what good is that? At the end of that 8 minute mile my work out would be OVER! No way am I running a sub-8-minute mile and continuing cardio for the day. So rather than running for speed, I currently run for stamina and fat burning, when I do my marathon at age 35 [mark your calendar Jackie, you are doing it with me] I will then show off my speed)

I can do cardio-Kick boxing without feeling fatigued, yoga no longer tires me, I kill the bike in spinning class, I can finally swim a mile, I no longer wheeze like a smoker going up stairs (never smoked in my life). And I love, absolutely love stepping into some of the back and leg machines at the gyms and selecting their maximum weights.

Now I need to strip the outlying layers of fat and improve the chest work-out and I will have completed all my goals.

Shotta, Assassin and female-me, I hope you guys are keeping your regimens up too!

---
The Shaq-Kobe feud has always amused me. Some of the things that they fight about amuse me and I love the fact that because those 2 could not get along the Spurs had a much easier route to the finals for years. Look, Shaq+Kobe + harmony would have always been a title threat. The biggest problem for Kobe in this feud is that Shaq is inherently likable and Kobe is not. Kobe just rubs peeps the wrong way. Hell even his nickname (SELF IMPOSED) of the Black Mamba just came off forced and stilted and quite frankly ridiculous. Shaq gives himself a new nickname every year and hell nicknames half the league (Tim Duncan aka the big Fundamental to name one) and they crack peeps up.

Anyway Shaqs latest salvo in the feud is below. Shaq claims it was all in fun and no ill-will was meant...you decide.

Don Imus has got to be a moron. (again)

I would have thought that the one thing he would have been very and I mean VERY careful about talking about would be racially sensitive topics.

Note I am not saying he should not discuss race, I am saying he needs to be wary when he broaches the subject that caused him to be fired. Remember he previously called the Rutgers' female basketball team 'nappy headed hos'. It cost him his job, then this morning on his new morning radio show Imus, and his sports announcer had the following exchange which I quote from the AP story that is linked here:

"During an on-air conversation Monday about the arrests of suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam Jones, Imus asked, "What color is he?"

Told by sports announcer Warner Wolf that Jones, who used to be nicknamed Pacman, is "African-American," Imus responded: "There you go. Now we know." "

Imus has quickly defended his remarks, saying they were misunderstood "I meant that he was being picked on because he's black," .

The problem for Imus as I wrote ages ago, is that he has a history of saying the wrong thing, at some point, maybe the only person with a misunderstanding is Imus.

If Imus wanted to make a commentary on Jones being picked on he could have, he could have made a great stand there, in fact I would have applauded him if he had, but his "There you go. Now we know" even if it was a stand was a poor one. In fact it comes off as flippant and not something that I would expect from someone who is commenting on someone being picked on. Rather it seems like he is piling on Jones too.

This story will break more starting tomorrow and later in the week, but for now I am just surprised that Imus could have been so reckless.

Of course Al Sharpton is looking into it, and early word is that sponsors are upset (no shock). I think if you are a sponsor of the Imus show, you pretty much have to be willing to dodge bullets anyway, so this is just part of the package.

As JT the Brick noted on radio tonight, Imus is in a sticky position, if he comes out and apologizes for his remarks it means that he has acknowledged that he did something wrong, and that comes on the heels of the Rutgers mess. If he tries to ride it out, he will lose sponsors, he has to address it, and he has to address it in a better fashion than the 'misunderstood' release.

---0----
Transcript from AOL Sports
Wolf: "Defensive back Adam 'Pacman' Jones, recently signed by the Cowboys. Here's a guy suspended all of 2007 following a shooting in a Vegas night club."

Imus: "Well, stuff happens. You're in a night club, for God's sake. What do you think's gonna happen in a night club? People are drinking and doing drugs, there are women there, and people have guns. So, there, go ahead."

Wolf: "He's also been arrested six times since being drafted by Tennessee in 2005."

Imus: "What color is he?"

Wolf: "He's African-American."

Imus: "Well, there you go. Now we know."

"There is no I in team, aint no we either" = still a classic

I agree with Leon, someone else from the team should have jumped on each of the 4 fumbles, afterall "Leon can't do everything"

Cali J approves

Women are amazing creatures and confidence is sexy vol 2.3434

Intriguing night: 2 of my friends had to deal with crazy moments from their girls. But, note, the guys themselves were no angels. What made the night awkward was the methods used by the young ladies, to get back at the guys.

In the first instance, my friend made the mistake of sleeping with his co-worker, then bringing her out to meet his friend and his current hook up...BAD IDEA! I mean seriously bad idea, by the end of the night, he actually ended up with his ex hook-up, a pile of hurt feelings and a dry...well u can figure it out.

In the second instance my friend got jealous because his 'girl' danced with another guy. But, as she pointed up, they are only 'buddies'. This led to a blow up. Which normally would be interesting to watch except for one major problem. Both sets of girls had earlier flirted with me. I was completely set up, I had no idea any of them were involved with my friends and I also had no idea that flirting would occur.

The more I work out, the better I feel, the more attention I seem to get. Granted tonight is not a good night to gauge by, since I was used to make others jealous, but heck even the fact that I am a prop is amusing to me.

Plus Tuesday night was crazy, I suspect that the Lakers' loss, brought the craziness out in SD ladies; my friend and I were both offered crazy forms of congress. We were cornered on the dance floor by a couple teachers, and we both left the bar accompanying young ladies home (for safety of course).

Props and a shout out to Ms. 3teen, keep doing your part to help the national average ;)

R. Kelly acquitted on ALL charges!

Let me repeat that in a different way to see if this is more believable, R Kelly has been found not-guilty of all charges.

Only thing that could have made this more interesting would have been if O.J. was in the front row when the verdict was read.

Ok all my friends who I talk to in person (I consider my readers friends too, please no crying), know my feelings on this. I think R did it. I am pretty damn sure R did it, I think he should be in jail for 'Hair Braider' but I did have a slight problem with him going up the river on this case. Too much of it was shoddily run.

I mean damn, this is 10 years later, the 'girl' looks old enough to be his mom at this stage, the tape was grainy to begin with (maybe I saw it, maybe I didn't). Hypothetically if I did see it, let us just say at some points that girl looks like a pro and at some points you just feel so sick cause it looks like you are watching a kid. Again that is all hypothetical. I was amazed that the prosecutors at this stage were going to charge him. When the tape first leaked I though immediately he was going to jail. Only one problem, that was so long ago I was not even named the Cali J then.

Who on earth expected Chicago's second favorite black son (Obama has to be #1 right now) to go to jail on a case that even if they had brought it while the girl still looked like a girl would have been hard to win. Add the fact that the 'girl' says that she is not the girl, and the case has more holes in it than swiss cheese (I know, I know, I could not resist that one).

("DRIP, DRIP, DRIP, PEE ON YOU")
The Chapelle "Pee on you" skit is even funnier now that he got off, the portion where they ask the juror what would be needed to convict him and he says oh screw I will just put the scene, (thanks Yahoo answers and IMDB):

Prosecutor: Mr. Chappelle, what would it take to convince you that R. Kelly is guilty?

Dave Chappelle: Okay, I'd have to see a video of him singing "Pee On You," two forms of government ID, a police officer there to verify the whole thing, four or five of my buddies and Neal taking notes, and R. Kelly's grandma to confirm his identity.

R. Kelly's Grandma: That's my Robert, always peeing on people.
...
Dave: How come they ain't found who killed Biggie or Tupac but they arrest O.J. Simpson the next day? Nicole Simpson can't rap! I want justice!

I suspect many of the jurors needed the same proof.

"No I'm serious, I really wanna pee on you"

Good to see juries suck worldwide.

An Australian drug trial has had to be called off after 66 days and over a million of tax-payer money spent. Not because the jurors had been intimidated or false evidence given, or perjury or death of the judge or any of the other typical reasons for stopping or postponing a trial. Nope this trial had to be stopped because the judge found out that several of the jurors have been playing puzzles, particularly sudoku throughout the trial.

I love that part of how they figured it out was because they noticed that jurors were writing vertically instead of horizontally!

Commonwealth represent!

Now come on Windies and beat the damn Aussies.

Oldies but goodies, WofTD is back...vol.2943.3 and Pilates SUCKS

Todays word of the Day (which I am sure will be repeated) is hypocritical (tv shows): Definition; I am watching House of Payne where 2 of the guest stars are clearly over-weight, and the first ad that comes up is for the 50 million pounds challenge. For those who do not know, the 50 million pound challenge is an idea that we can all stand to lose weight and that together we can lose 50 million pounds ( I am not sure if it is tailored at the minority community - all the ads feature Blacks).

Turns out House of Payne is sponsored by the 50 million lb challenge, another funny thing is that the last ad in that ad block was Diddy telling me to go to Burger King!

Seriously though, the 2 characters are HUGE, and then you run an ad, telling me to lose weight? This is like playing an episode of anything starring Paris Hilton then running an ad about Acting classes!

Damn my toe hurts, I kicked a laptop all the way across my living room floor (on accident) with just my pinky toe, the resulting yell, might still be echoing around San Diego. I literally yelled till my lungs emptied.

Finally, my mini rant on Pilates:
I tried it today as an accommodation to J Stew, I asked her to give me 7 days at the gym and I would improve her life, she dropped weight in those 7 days and so I figured as a concession I would go to Pilates with her...I regretted it the minute I walked in the room and got stared at by every woman in there, which meant I got stared at by every one in there since there was was not a single man in there apart from the instructor (and damn he stared at me like an aberration).

Look Pilates, is for people who do not have the discipline to do yoga and are too weak to do weight training! And definitely not for men who would rather be lifting...granted I am sure alot of my problem is the fact that so many of the exercises looked like birthing class videos (do not ask how I know about those, just trust my knowledge).

So anyway on my gym class scale, Cardio Kick boxing > Spinning > yoga > elliptical > just sitting on a rowing machine > running on the treadmill staring into the pilates class > pilates

An old school moment

As a kid I loved Voltron (really want a movie), and Sprite was my favorite 'American' soda, and we all know I love hip hop.

Birds, meet stone

Floyd Mayweather Jr, Retired from boxing, is he going to UFC?

(Insomnia sucks but it leads to my hearing great sports rumors on the radio)

Props to Karen Kay and Big Ben Maller (even though they claim - if the rumor proves false, that they never said it) for sharing this info.

Rumor has it that fresh off his retirement Floyd (aka money) will sign with UFC on Thursday for 200 million in cash and UFC equity....damn!

This kind of makes sense, the amount that Floyd will instantly make has got to be tempting, and he has already proven himself in boxing so if there was ever a time to try to cross-over it would be now!

Anyway, for those peeps that suck and do not trust the Cali J as their only source....here

Props again to the 3rd shift on Fox, you guys help me to sleep many a night, even if you did Kill my Spurs!

विल इ एवर सी अ त्रिप्ले क्रोवं? or in english: Will I ever see a triple crown?

Every year ever since I could understand the 'Sport of Kings' I have watched every spring hoping for a triple crown winner. Some years the chances have seemed better than others and every year my hopes are dashed.

This year, I like many others tuned into the Belmont stakes, thinking there was a better chance than most years, after all Big Brown had won both the Kentucky Derby, and the Preakness by a few furlongs. Then I heard the news, the trainer had taken his horse off the steroids he had been giving it for ages. Note the steroid in play is stanozolol -aka Winstrol it is legal to use in horse-racing....yet suddenly the horse was off it? Let us leave off for a second the fact that this trainer has previously been ruled ineligible for rule violations and drug problems, and let us not even question the ethics of using steroids on a horse, one has to wonder, why the sudden decision to no longer use the juice?

The trainer gives each horse in his stable that is in training a shot of the roids every month, yet claimed to have not given Big Brown any since April. Well today it seemed like the horse ran out of juice. As one sports scientist noted, the roids are probably not still in the horse, but they work as 'training drugs' so the horse would have benefited during training. Since the horse was off the drugs, it is reasonable to suspect that maybe its training, finally started to wear down?

Note Stanozol is banned in a few states but of course, luckily not in the ones that are apart of the triple crown!

I am pretty sure the owners are ecstatic that they sold off the breeding rights before the race. It was reported the rights were sold for over $50million...nice!

So anyway, one would think that I would be pretty broken up after not seeing Big Brown win and since there has not been a triple crown winner since Affirmed in 1978 aka Before A.D. i.e. before I existed on this earth. But, there is one problem...I dislike the trainer. He is disrespectful, he does not honor the sport he is in and he is too brash for his own good. The damn man, guaranteed a triple crown win? Really, a feat only done by 11 other horses and these are your words: "foregone conclusion." ..."These horses just cannot run with Big Brown."..."by daylight, easily. I just don't see no dogfight in this race."

Well, good job with your future prognostications!

I suspect I will never ask you your thoughts on the weather.

Just another reason why TEXAS will always be better than those damn Hogs from Arkansas vol 1.3435

In the interest of fairness I should note that the judge is an HONORABLE graduate of THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS. This footnote might have been the best footnote I have ever seen in a legal opinion

“It is worth noting, that the Razorbacks, who disgracefully retreated from the Southwest Conference to the gentler pastures of the Southeastern Conference, could have likely learned a lesson about stamina and perseverance in the face of battle by visiting the Alamo in San Antonio.” --you tell 'em judge!

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If the images are not very clear the order is hosted here




Please note that UT has been involved in the game of the Century for both relevant football centuries, we cannot claim the 1800s because no one cared then except the Ivy leagues and they have not been relevant since then.

Usain 'is insane' 'lightning' Bolt

I have to say I love the way the competition was smoked by a kid running in only his 5th 100 meters event.



I wish I was home for the National Trials this year, it is going to be insane.

Whose the fastest? Jamaicans are the fastest!

Mad joy in my world right now: Usain Bolt just set the world record for the 100 meter dash (and with speeds like this it really is a dash). Usain just lowered the mark to 9.72 in a race that he does not even consider his best. So now Asafa has 9.74, Usain has 9.72 and Jamaica has BOTH OF THEM!

Big ups to the man them, and props to Veronica for having di fastest female time this year!

Man I really, really wish, Usain had, had on the Black, Green and Gold when he broke the record, just so the world-wide pictures could bling up with the colours dem!

Read all about it here

Could Keiva the Dancehall diva really be my gym inspiration?

Feeling lazy after a late night last night, but have to hit the gym, so I watched some old Dancehall clips, saw this one of Keiva the Diva, check out 3:21 into the performance. Off to the gym to get fit again. Caan dance wid dem gyal if yuh body nuh ready!

'Bigger Stronger Faster' and is Clay Aiken going to be a daddy?

TMZ is reporting that Clay Aiken has impregnated a 50 year old woman via artificial insemination. My friend's first words to me when I told her "Clay Aiken got someone pregnant" were "Isn't he gay." Well whether he is or not, this seems to be right out of the Michael Jackson play-book.

What I find even crazier than the above story, is...How does TMZ get these stories (and so quickly)? Man that kid is going to have to look out on the playground.

Below is a preview of the new movie coming out, it is about the fascination with steroids and athletic pursuits. I joke with my friends all the time about taking roids, but I would never do it...unfortunately many cannot leave it at jokes about getting bigger.

"4 asian girls pull up in a car and holler at me" and the Cali Jamaican became Jamaican

Sometimes you just have to go; "Beast Mode Activated." Anyone who knows me closely knows that I have about 2-3 regular accents. I have the accent that I pretty much use everyday, I have the accent that I pop out when peeps say "You do not sound Jamaican" and then I have the real accent, the one that pops out when I am stressed, mad, angry, excited or talking to anyone from the island.

Anyway, to start out the night on Saturday, we were rushing to get downtown because we were guestlisted for free drinks (and everyone loves free!). Anyway, turns out Saturday night was the worst night to drive downtown; let us add up the situations 1. Jazz festival, 2. memorial day weekend, 3. A saturday night in SD, 4. Padre game in town, 5. Grandma driving (ok that last one was a jab at Rose bud). So the frustration levels are already pretty high. Well we decided to park at Horton (who recently changed all their parking policies - SOBs) trying to get into Horton however was a nightmare, the stoplights would constantly change and we would not advance. Then we noticed why we were not moving, a moron parking attendant was standing in the middle of the road and just letting all the cars out of his parking lot to enter the road which basically just stopped traffic dead.

So I am sitting in the passenger side just fuming, (remember free booze is being wasted and I hate traffic) and thinking 'this guy is a moron' and 'why has no one run him over yet, he is not a cop, he cannot stop traffic.' So the light changes for the 4th time and we have advanced 3 car lengths, and suddenly...the fuse just BLEW: I just saw red, and could not control myself, the window was down I was leaning out and yelling "bumboclaut man what the ra$$ you seh yuh a do? Get out of the bloodclaut road and stop blocking traffic." To which the parking attendant, said the wrong thing...maybe not the wrong thing to someone who is calm, but definitely the wrong thing to a Jamaican man who is already annoyed with your performance "What do you want me to do?" Oh damn, CaliJamaican completely dissolved and only Jamaican was left, it was Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

--"What do I want yuh to do? I want yuh to do yuh rassclaut job, I want you to get out a di bloodclaut street, b4 mi mek yuh get out a di bloody street, yuh know what, mi a guh help yuh get yuh rass outta di damn street"

So at that point I started reaching for the car door, handle, but damn it Rose bud had it closed, so I pressed the lock release, she locked it again (smart girl). I should let you in on some surrounding things, at this point every car around us had stopped (yup your boy was yelling that loud) so our car was actually able to start moving meanwhile I am still so pissed that I was trying to exit a moving vehicle. The combination of actions was like this: Leaning out of the window, yelling, pointing with right hand, reaching back with left to unlock seatbelt, sliding over to fiddle with the lock mechanism and trying to make sure I could reach the guy outside.

Best part of my anger though...it is almost always a flash in the pan (kind of like J-Kwon's career "Eeerybody in di club getting tipsy"). By the time we drove around the block to our parking spot (cause clearly we could not park at that guy's lot) I was already laughing about the incident. Thankfully things like that cannot put a damper on my nights,in fact it kind of just spiced up the night.

So our boy eN-Zo who has always been great to me in terms of getting us into spots got us into his bar for the night. Thing is eN-Zo and I have not really seen each other in about a month, most times we are just passing each other in the street for a quick 'hail up'. When he saw me on Saturday he was amazed by my weight loss, and commented on it (more on that later).

So anyway, J Stew and Rose Bud, were both trying to get others in the club later so I suggested they go to the balcony area to talk to eN-Zo, I figured it would be a quick move and they would be back soon, BUT, they left me alone, and I got attacked. There is a certain type of girl in SD that loves me, my close friends can prolly translate 'B girls love B Men.' And to help my casual readers, my parents will never accept me bringing home an obese woman. Heck my dad already thinks I am fat "nobody trusts a fat lawyer". Well this young lady was aggressive to no end, to the point that I ran out to the balcony, yup I ran, no shame there, I am just not the type to rebuff women, so I tend to hide away.

(J Stew loves this girl, later in the night, she thought J Stew and I were together and she gave us both an amazing shrug, I mean to the point that if a guy had done that to me, we would have had to knuckle up, heck J Stew nearly went Hulk on her)

---So I explained why I suddenly appeared and eN-Zo did exactly what I would have done, he mocked my situation "Come on man, you get fitter, start to look better and now you are picky". Hahah how can I counter that? I mean the timing was perfect.

I now blame eN-Zo for causing my actions for the rest of the night.

Later in the night I had to move the car, (I refuse to pay that pound of flesh price of $2 per 15 minutes when there are so many better parking options). Before I got the car I needed to get validated, no one validates anymore at bloody horton so I snuck into the office at the gym and validated myself, come on it was a Saturday night and I work out 6 days a week, I think they can just count that one as a freebie.

Whilst moving the car (and Rose bud swears the car is what caused it, not me - note though the car is a camry, at least 8 years old, good, great even, but it does not have that swag) 4 Asian girls pulled up beside me in the exit lane. While waiting in the line, they were all taking pictures of themselves and chuckling to each other. My windows were down so I could hear what they were saying...and my night was made, heck my month of May was made! "Oh he, is cute", "yeah he is really cute" "hehe" "talk to him". So I started looking around, cause I had to figure out what was causing the convo, I even for a second considered 'maybe a pix on the camera'. Then one of the girls in the backseat looked directly at me and I think made me blush "Hey you are cute, give me your number right now!"

Normally at this point, I would have made up some lame excuse, (I never give fake numbers) or just laughed and kept on driving, but for some reason (eN-Zo probably) I actually held up traffic long to give them my number, and even have a brief convo. Before I could even make it out of the parking lot, I started getting text messages from the ladies...yup, I think I could have floated the few blocks back to the club after parking the car. How the text messages ended my weekend is my business...

Sorry for the length of the post, in fact I am sure there are a tonne of mistakes throughout it, but I am watching Tila Tequila (this was actually supposed to be a blog about the show but I figured we can all take a skank break this week) and I think it probably robs me of brain cells.

I was going to blog about the worst dancing girl I have seen in ages, but that will have to wait this post is already too long...just note, J Stew and the Ivy both agreed with me on the atrocious dancing, every song cannot have the SAME DAMN dance move! (Guess that is a bit of blogging about it)

Recap of the Flavor of Love recap...just kill me now!

I said I wouldn't do this, but I knew I was kidding myself. (Plus Kami forced my hand). So here it is, I have to blog about the FOL reunion show or as BET would call it "A hot ghetto mess".

Ever wonder if Flav spells the girls names so crazily because he cannot actually spell? Grayvee, Bunz, Myammee just to name a few.

Seems like the only time I see Lala is when she is hosting one of these shows, wonder how this is listed on her resume.

Ouch to start it off Ice clowns Flav, then has to mention "I am still working at hooters" hmm, you sure you want to be clowning peeps?

"You aint cute enough to tell a bitch her breath stink" -- Good job Sommore

Damn it Flav, cleaned the dome, I enjoyed making fun of his hair, kind of hard to make fun of a shaved head, since I rock that style.

Ouch, apparently Shy is losing work because peeps think her breath might stink and will not want to work with her...hmm could it be that it was a bad idea to enter Flavor of Love...I would pick only one answer YES!

"I'm not an alcoholic, but I need a drink" uhmm, yeah I am going to say, you are an alki.

Is there really a dude in the crowd wearing a Viking helmet...yup Cali J I will answer that question for you, there is a moron in the crowd wearing a viking helmet, and it is not even Flav.

Interesting that Sinceer added some new chesticles: I wonder if those are to distract peeps from staring at the 5head. I mean I know it is cruel to make fun of someone's physical appearance, but let us keep it real, this woman is vindictive and she is not cute enough to act that way. Oh man, I just paused my DVR to answer the phone and it paused while Sinceer was opening her mouth really wide to argue at someone and the light is also shining on her forehead, it kind of looks like those clips of when an airplane opens up the cargo hold to let in tanks. All shiny and HUGE!

Strange, I always thought that Seezinz was only able to act tough, but for a second I saw a glint of that "I'll cut ya bitch" in her eyes.

Something is up with Black, she is almost looking masculine in the face...I think she might have lost weight and lost a bit of her luster.

This show sucks, (sorry Kami) there better be some great twist coming up, cause right now I am kind of bored, Lala sucks as a host by the way. I meant to say that up top, she sucked, last year, she sucked the year before. I mean come on, how hard is this, these chicks practically do all the work for you, just let them loose and let them roar.

If Thing 2 ever ends up missing, do we have to first suspect Thing 1 (her sister)? Interesting, all the ladies seem to have lost weight...wonder if the whole camera adds 10lbs thing got to them when they went home and saw themselves on TV.

This is trifling, dude how could you have a 7th kid sitting at home but still running around on TV claiming that you are looking for love with umpteen females? Come on Flav I thought better of you. Oh wait a minute (Give me back my computer), for a moment the Cali J was possessed by ridiculousness. Of course Flav would have a newborn at home and run around on TV looking to hook up.

Oh come on, how could any self respecting woman sit there and see 'her man' run around with all these girls and still be cool with 'her man' just coming back to her? Something does not seem like 'reality' here. Flav's woman was just too willing to accept the flaws...then again maybe I just do not know what love is.

I will let Talib Kweli play us out since maybe these lyrics explain it all:
"I don't care what people say
As long as you and me okay
Because I never been in love before
See I used to be a player and
All of this is new to me
And this ain't what I'm used to see
Because I never been in love before"

Vince Young caught drinking and shirtless! The shame?

Pix from blogxilla.com

Ok, ok, first things first, everyone knows I am the biggest Texas apologist! But peeps need to calm the hell down about the VY pix and stop acting like he is a bad role-model to the kids for being in a club (21 and up) and having a drink like any guy in the club would.

He was in a club in the ATX, it gets hot, peeps shed clothing, hell a whole damn song by Nelly was made over this same activity and it became a hit! (Hell when I was fitter, I used to shed my shirt in the club, now I just have to sweat it out).

I did not rip Leinhart for his pix and I refuse to rip Vince for his. Now if you show me a picture of VY pouring syzurp down some under-age chica's throat, I might have to come up with an excuse, but this one is just too basic to get the uproar that it is receiving.

Apparently the reason (and I hate that I even have to address this part) that you do not see that many females in the pictures but rather a lot of men with shirts off, is that they were in a VIP area. A few females were there but the line letting them in was restricted for fear of the groupie types. Hey, that shows good judgment!

Anyway, here is the link that has the story


(Now the R Kelly trial, that is something else, will have to blog that later)

Kobe cheating on his wife again? And are there really pictures?

Normally I would wait for more sites to confirm this but I am pretty pissed right now at the Spurs losing so I will mention the fact that there is a rumor circulating the inter-web (I know I know but I just like using that phrase 'inter-web') that Kobe cheated on his wife Vanessa, with a Laker girl named Vanessa. Apparently thedirty.com is the original source of the rumor.

It is hard to believe that he would be so crazy to not only cheat on his wife again but to do it IN HOUSE? I mean damn dude, if you are going to cheat and you play for the Lakers' as their highest profile player AND you were previously in a much publicized affair (ahem, Colorado rape, allegations *cough*) would you really cheat with an EIGHTEEN year old Laker girl?

The following is from the Dirty.com: [We reached out to Vanessa and the Laker’s organization to get statements. The Lakers claim that Vanessa resigned from the squad to pursue a “hosting career”. Vanessa obviously did not want to speak… though BTW she has a sexy voice!

This DOES NOT pass “The Dirty Smell Test”. If you are 18 years old, lived in Hayward, CA, are the hottest of the Laker Girls and your team is in the NBA playoffs… WOULD YOU QUIT DURING THE PLAYOFFS???? EXXXXXACTLY!

SHE IS A HOT (5.678234) 18 YEAR OLD AND HAAARD TO RESIST PLAYING BALL WITH! Vanessa Curry The DIRTY ARMY Salutes you… Please touch our knees and was it consensual? Just Sayin’.]

The point they brought up re quitting to go 'host' is what the sports radio heads are now blaring on my radio at 2am (damn insomnia), no way does an 18 year-old Laker girl suddenly just quit during the play-offs.

I have to add this, apparently a friend of Vanessa's claims to have pictures of Kobe and the young lady together. It has not yet been explained what kind of pictures they are. I have to hope that even if he was cheating he was not crazy enough to take "pictures". The pix will probably be something like Kobe walking past the Laker girls and smiling while they stretch...one hopes.

Can he really afford to buy his wife another ring, didn't he drop like 4 mill on the last one?

Another rumor is that Kobe does not have a pre-nup...please, please, please tell me that is not true!

This all reminds me of the time that Kobe accused Malone of making a pass at his wife...I guess he would know the signs. Malone himself is such a shady guy that I would not put anything past him especially this line...Malone's agent, Dwight Manley, told the Los Angeles Times on Sunday that Malone was asked by Vanessa Bryant, "Hey, cowboy, what are you hunting?" in reference to Malone wearing a cowboy hat and boots.

"She said it twice," Manley said, "and Karl answered, 'I'm hunting for little Mexican girls.' "

Will be fun to watch this play-out especially while the Lakers play my Spurs.
Here is hoping for San Antonio in SIX!

My final (hopefully) Flavor of Love review! Plus some muppets!

It begins with our hero saying, "This is the final season finale of Flavor of Love" hmm, maybe until Flav needs money? Then again he has a sitcom now...

Ok this is going to be a horrible mixing of classic shows. Everytime I watch and see Thing 2 (and it was the same for when NY was on the show) all I can sing is "Dance your cares away, Worry's for another day. Let the music play, Down at Fraggle Rock. Down at Fraggle Rock" look I know she looks like a muppet, but for some reason those shows are always linked together in my mind - probably because of the Jim Henson ties.

I know you might not believe me when I say she looks like a muppet so your man has come with proof (oh no, I am definitely starting to talk like Flav, I need to crack open a book of Shakespeare). Ok click on this link for a picture of a muppet Now click on this one for a picture of Thing 2. To be honest I was tempted to link both to the muppet, but then they are practically the same thing anyway.

I love the fact that Flav made Black and Sinceer argue it out for a spot to stay...nothing like a fun intelligent cat fight...hahahah (I wrote those words and I am being sarcastic but even as a joke they still look horrible).

Flav takes Black on a helicopter ride, and then INHALES her whole mouth...seriously, what the hell! How could he be this old, and hav kissed this many women and not know that there is no need to swallow her face...or maybe he has the right technique?

Hahah, Flav fell asleep while they are on their date. The young lady is shocked. I cannot understand why she is shocked? Flav is as old as her dad, and it is the afternoon, old people like to SLEEP in the afternoon.

Flav: You banging, but most of all, you banging on the inside...
Black: That meant alot to me cause I know I have a lot to offer, other than my looks?

Yup, you are right, you have the ability to be easily impressed to offer, the ability to not question the fact that you are dating a man that looks like a 5 foot 6 cockroach, a man who just fell asleep on your date.

I feel bad for her right now (and that is hard for me), Flav just demanded that she tell a joke and she drew a blank. Here is the thing, I am a naturally funny guy (and modest too) but everytime someone demands that I tell them a joke I draw a blank. I think I give them a better look than the deer in the headlights look that Black had, but I still draw a blank.

"I am going to end this date with a night cap in my room, will you join me?" I think by now the words are like a legal statement required by VH1 so no one claims any coercion later, but never have I even for a moment expected one of these 'ladies' to say no, that kind of saddens me, it has destroyed my illusion of their chastity. I need a moment, Black is about to be deflowered in the tower (ignore the fact that she already has a 6 year old kid).

Jelaine said that Flav looks like a pimp...and you cannot disagree with that, granted my claiming that he has a 'stable of hos' was a mere confirmation. I know I did not have to put that whole line in, but this is my SHOUT OUT to Jelaine!

Shout out to Kami too, she was one of the first to agree with me re the muppet, as well as be my constant back and forth analyzer re shows. (Sorry Erin no shout out to you tonight, this is not an Idol blog)

Back to the show, Flav and Thing 2 are taking a tour, of Paris, and at one point they pass the police station and VH1 cuts to old footage of flav being taken out of a police station in handcuffs. I bet you do not get this on 'The Bachelor', I can only guess, I have never watched that show, must be too classy for me. Did they just show Flav littering as he exited the tour bus? Yup rewound it, they did, come on dude, you are being taped, have some class. You know, like having sex in the dark with the cameras still in the room.

Hahahah The Door man said "Prince, I love your music, Purple Rain is my favorite album" maybe we all do look alike? Maybe he is just a moron? Maybe Vh1 just put fake words on the screen? Nah, could they really take that chance with so many French speakers in the world? I spoke the barest minimum of french in high school, I guess I could go back on the tape a couple or 20 times and figure out what he said, but I am too lazy for that.

Wow Thing 2, he gives you a watch, and you ask this question: "this is for me, like I can take it and put it on my wrist and it is mine for ever?" Does this chick not get the concept of gifts, or does she not get the concept of a watch? I mean she did ask if it should be put on her wrist!

Are we sure this is Thing 2? How do we know Thing 1 did not lose weight and show up? I mean, when Flav asked her what does she like to do, her response was "I like to eat." I'm not saying, I'm just saying!

OH WOW, Thing 2 just told him "No" re his night-cap! Hell even Flav just said it "No girl has ever said no to a night cap in the history of Flavor of Love" A lesser man than me would go back and remove a few paragraphs in this blog, but I standby them...then again, I am still blogging who knows I might remove my declaration of always knowing what the girls would say to the night-cap offers. After all, who could factor in the reason she gave for not doing the night-cap. Not because it is wrong, not because she wants to wait for the right time, but because she got eliminated once and does not want to fall for him again...uhmm did u not come back to the damn show?

Flav is wearing a crown and all I can think of is "Dunce Cap"

"I hope that my man Flav is smart enough to choose someone with a big heart, instead of bigger boobs" This girl should write for the President.

Oh they are making their last speeches, I am getting choked up right now, ok not really, in fact watching these girls try to give sincere (whew nearly spelled it like the girl's name) speeches is as painful as watching Barbara Walters try to talk about sex.

Quick aside: Barbara Walters is a freak, you know it, I know it, and a certain Black Senator who thought he had her keeping things on the creep knows that we all know it now.

Look anytime a man wears a clock, he is going to look ridiculous but this clock tonight is extra special (like short-bus special)

And of course the gold fronts were presented as a gift. Nothing says love like periodontitis.

Damn I just wrote the title of the blog and now see that the reunion special is coming up next week...

I wonder how Thing 1 is going to handle all of this!

Cali J and Sand Assassin vol 2.3435

It was good to roll out with the SA tonight. I snagged us VIP access to a party 2nite, gift bag and all. This allowed us all you can drink privileges, hence the SA is now fast asleep on the CJ's living room floor.

This may not have been the best opening line "You jingling baby". Oh well, still better than just staring, and hoping. I would blog more, but I am lazy, tired and also extremely secretive.

But I do like the fact that the bar hooked us up with free food to go with the free drinks, that is classy and something the Cali J can always get down with.

Suge Knight "Got knocked the f#$k out"

Let me say this off the bat, Suge is such a scary man that even posting this gives me shivers, cause really the man is psycho, but seeing pix of Suge knocked out is just amazing and it has to be shared.

What I love about this is that Del Geezy and I hit this spot up back in the West Hollywood days and instantly stepping in knew it was a ghetto-club. Expensive, but not the kind of place that you want to take the mother of your child! For instance the big event we went to there was Lil' Jon's birthday party.

Anyway here is the link to the pictures for your enjoyment.

If I were the guy that managed that punch I would lay low for a bit. Word on the streets (and by the streets I mean the internet hip hop boards) is that Suge and his posse jumped the guy demanding his cell phone. After recovering from the K.O. Suge was heard demanding the cat's cell, which I guess could help trace the guy. Lay-low son, it is cool to mess Suge up, it is not cool to drive down the strip in Vegas and mysteriously have no witnesses to your murder!

P.s. do not call your phone hoping to have it returned, just let it go.

Bill O'Reilly goes NUTS!

If you find Bill to be as pompous an ass as I do this clip will make you laugh.
I am always amused when he pontificates about others in the media that he conveniently ignores his past as an Entertainment 'anchor'
The first vid was pulled, so here is a new one, apologies to those who tried earlier



I love Olbermann making fun of it

Eva Mendes topless and toe sucking

Thanks to Kami for the link!

I commented to her that it is somewhat rare to see an established actress taking topless shots like this. Kami does not seem to be a fan of the work.

Not really sure what to make of the whole shoot, I think it could have looked better but I am not as adamant that she looks 'dead and wax like' as Kami so eloquently put it.

I think I am also amused at the fact that they are posted on Huffington post. That blog has blown up in ways that I do not think even Ms. Huffington expected.

Team USA got no hit in Softball and a funny vid of peeps litterally jumping into pants

Bit ironic that the chick that no hit them was one of the last cuts from the Olympic team. I am glad Kat Osterman was not pitching in this game this way she does not have to figure in that pitiful box score.

Who says you need to put your pants on one leg at a time?

Hmm more of A Shot of Penicillin, recap vol 34.4345

"All my stripper friends All my ex-boyfriends We all want the same thing We all want the same thing" look any show that starts with that as a theme song is clearly going to be classy...so of course it has to be no shock that it is the theme song to 'A shot at love with Tila Tequila'.

I confess, I have pretty much stopped watching regular TV in favor of reality TV. You might ask why? Well I will tell you why. Much of TV right now sucks anyway, I spend most of my time on the internet trying to improve my chess game, I currently have games going against peeps in India, Australia and Britain as well as of course peeps here. Well reality TV is easy to watch while doing work, or on the net playing chess or anything that actually requires concentration. Plus, it is funny and it makes me feel better about myself! It is the same reason I used to watch Jerry Springer, nothing I can do in my life will ever be as bad as some of the stuff I see nightly on TV.

Anyway back to ASALW Tila Tequila, there was a challenge, and some of the parts of the challenge had stages such as 'bobbing for Blue Balls', 'jump in the pool for Pearl Necklaces' and a 'slip and slide'. If you do not understand the lame sexual innuendo there then bless your heart, you are an innocent.

I take it back this show does not make me feel better about myself, it makes me feel AMAZING, these morons just had a panty raid.

Did that cat really get mad that after he called a girl a whore she retorted with "Your mother is a whore"? Dude you called a chick a whore, you should know at that stage that everything is fair game.

"It felt like kissing a dead frog!" Hahahah, oh man, I worry all the time that I am not a good kisser but man I hope no girl anywhere will ever say that about me...at least unless she is mad, all is fair in love and war.

(Please note, though I might watch a decent amount of Reality TV, I will NEVER watch that show 'Farmer wants a wife')

I have still never puked in my life, but wow, watching everyone on this show puke at the same time is kind of gag inducing.

Is it pc to laugh at the fact that the lesbians as part of their challenge had to eat pigs vaginas? Does that even count as pork? Heheh one of the lesbians just said "I am going to go balls out" I know I know it is just a saying but it really sounds funny to hear someone say that while eating...pig's vagina.

I know the PUs (parental units) want me to get married but shows like this have me worried, I mean this is what women are like, right?

Hmm, stripper, softball coach, waitress, yeah these are not the stereotyped jobs at all.
Here is how little I care about this show, someone got eliminated and I am not even sure who.

Remember, keep it warm for the Cali-J, the 30th is coming up in 1 year and a few, you know how we DO!

The Empire strikes Barack

Bloody funny. Thanks to the innocent one Erik, for sending me this great link.
Enjoy

Just an example of the craziness that happens in my city

Read this link on a kidnap and murder and torture plot that happened in San Diego and Tijuana.

The sheer craziness of the story is just something that if you offered this as a script it would be denied.

Living on an avocado farm: check
Selling shady cancer cure: check
Meeting in Horton Plaza food court to discuss a kidnapping plot: Check
Ex-KGB agent (and it is not a Tom Clancy novel): Check
Pliers and duct tape: Check
Jealousy, cheating and confused investigations: Check
Heartache and very little resolution: Sadly, Check.

It kind of annoys me that Mexico would not extradite that murdered unless they were promised that he could not get life in prison!

Flav of love 'seezinz' 3 recap vol 1

I was told by a friend (Kami) that I had to blog this week of F.O.L. so here goes.

The show starts off with previously on Flavor of Love and it again shows the mom of one of the girls basically urging her daughter to go after Flav, that is called...BAD PARENTING! We all know I love Flav as a character but if my daughter (hypo) ever came home with someone like him...I have failed as a father!

Seriously this girl has a forehead so huge they could start showing drive through movies on it. Hahahah as soon as I typed this the next clip shows her wearing a bandanna and oh man, it is like watching someone trying to tie a table cloth around a house, yeah a square might be covered but it all cannot be blocked out.

Did France know what it was getting when Flavor Flav showed up? Or did they know, put up a resistance and immediately surrender to the invading force? (Sorry I had to do it) Cot damn I miss Paris.

Watching these 3 girls try to come to decisions by themselves is what I imagine happens when you try to split 2 marbles among 3 spoiled brats.

Hahah, this chick is clearly a moron, you are invited out on a boat by Flav who loves to swim and you wear only the top of a swim suit and not the bottoms?

You know what, seeing Flav without a clock is kind of weird, you get so used to seeing that appendage.

"What the fu@k is a soirée?" Oh gosh girl, please do not open your mouth to speak anymore.

Hahaah the MC at the ball room in French just called Flav "MC HAMMER" (I probably should be offended by this [all look alike and all that] but I find it too funny)

Seriously, if your forehead is too big for you to even have bangs what do you do? Do you audition to be a Klingon and just tell them that u can save them a tonne on makeup?

A thing you have to love about this show, even the sub-titler has a problem trying to type out what these chicks are saying! Sometimes I cannot understand what they are saying so I throw on the subtitles and many a time...that does not help.

Still amazing when any of these girls are surprised that another girl is stabbing them in the back. If I fell into a pit of snakes I would not be shocked if I got bitten.

Listening to Flav and one of the girls try to speak French is an exercise in torture, I am now firmly convinced the French had no idea what they were doing when they let him in.

"The perfect way to end a french lesson is with a french kiss!" Aww that is beautiful girl. Damn Flav truly inhales these girls when he kisses them. It is a crime against nature to see beautiful women on this show. Wait, let me consider this. Would it be better to dilute the Flav gene pool with a hottie or have the Klingon breed with him and keep both of them out of the normal gene pool.

"Your man Flavor Flav has got a problem; I got a psycho stalker, I got a drama queen, I even got a girl who likes to pick fights" And the Cali J has got a headache, you picked these girls, no crying now.

I tend not to put the girls' names in the blogs cause I notice I tend to spell them differently so many times. For instance one of the girls is named after the color she was wearing when Flav met her, Black. But I think Flav spells it Blaque, but I cannot swear to that, it might be Blacque after all it is the mind of Flav.

And now we have the return of Thing 2, I kind of suspected it, it just seemed obvious to me. Hmm you know what she looks a lot like a muppet, I suspect that is why Flav likes her, after all NY looked exactly like Ms. Piggy, maybe that is what Flav is into!

I leave the elimination blank cause, well it just does not matter, plus it gives you a chance to see it for yourself.

Happy Birthday

To Jackie,
You helped me through law school, and I will never forget that! Now it is with deep regret that I must remind you that you are still just another victim, so in honor of you I will defeat some scrubs in Tekken!

Yoga makes me crave ice cream vol3.5354

So I find yoga extremely challenging. I work out 5 days a week and I do yoga about once a month, yet every time I do it, it basically kicks my ass. I still cannot find Downward dog to be a resting pose, I feel much more comfortable in Cobra and of course the Child's pose.

Anyway, it amuses me that as strong as I am getting from weight lifting, I still cry for mercy if I have to hold a pose for 10 seconds...but at least it is making me limber.

What is crazy is the fact that I pretty much lose all the benefits of the work out by coming home and gorging on Friendship bread and ice cream.

I have been trying out gourmet cooking the last 6 months, hence why I have to work out so much (like I say to my friends I do not work out to get skinny, I work out to fit through my front door.)

But I realized that this fascination with cooking might be getting too strong a hold of me. I just spent half an hour watching and re-watching a video on gourmet cookware. Granted the price of the 30 piece set FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS means that I will NEVER buy it, but a man can still look at it and salivate.

Remember peeps, start gearing up for the Cali-J's 30th, a year and a few months from now, it is going to be LEGEN...

Bloody insomnia sucks vol 2394.34

Since I am up all night I decided to go through blog posts just to clean up stuff, just found this post in my drafts list, clearly from the title listed below it was supposed to be posted DURING THE NCAAs...not sure why I did not post it at the time, I guess I probably tried to throw the pc out of the window while watching the game.

Anyway here goes.
Original title: Things I learned while watching the NCAAs

Rick Barnes (the Texas coach) hates me. He clearly wants me to die of a heart attack! There is no other way to explain his coaching technique today!

Minorities in commercials are mean to everyone, my old roomie and I used to marvel at the old Ad with the guy constantly being an ass about how great his phone was. Now I see a VW ad where the guy constantly sets off the car alarm.

Former Prez Bush likes Texas cheerleaders, that was the biggest smile I have seen on his face...ever!

Despite the fact the housing market is horrible, we are being told to buy buy and buy more houses.

Though you cannot drink booze at any NCAA games, the NCAA is completely fine with advertising to its core student audience the joy of alcohol.

Those Old Spice (Jackie Moon) 'Semi Pro' ads really suck. Normally I do not see them because of DVR but watching the game live you have little choice but to sit through them and wonder..."Who wrote this crap?"

(Nothing to do with the tourney but I saw a Hilary Swank movie and, seriously there is just something about her face, she is not ugly, but she is not beautiful either, thankfully she can act!)

Happy Birthday

To my little brother (who is not so little anymore) Marc.

Glad to see the progress, congrats on making it through law school, hope to see you this summer.

Bless up!

Obama v Clinton in the wrestling ring!

Rather funny to see both candidates end up on WWE Raw along with McCain to deliver fairly funny speeches.

There was also a staged fight;


Update: Link to a clip of the Spoofed Obama v Clinton fight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB9mb6XhD28&NR=1

Flavor of love recap...for the virgin in you!

Flavor Flav "She said her one on one time with me was like losing her virginity all over again" The first thing that flashed into my mind was "Yeah, painful"

Amazing how easily these girls turn to alcohol, in every show at some pt, when someone is nervous or worried a bottle of alcohol immediately gets drained. This week they had to go on Big Boy's show; now from my little time spent in LA, I remember that Big Boy's show was in the MORNING... Yet while waiting in the lobby one of the girls drains a bottle of Champagne!

Even the show hosts made mention of the fact that she was stinking of booze, at 7.30 in the morning.

Watching one of the girls using a Curling iron on another girl's hair I could not help but thinking 'this cannot be safe, she might snap and attack.'

Hmm one of the girls said she talks to her Grandma 4 times a day, but when Flav asked if she had spoken to her, her response was "Not since on the show" then said there was some family issues...hmm I wonder if it could be "I will never talk to you if you go on that show" I know that would be the issue my family would probably have...of course I am just speculating on the girl's issues (but hey, it is that kind of show)

With a monkey in his lap Flav said "I aint gonna lie but I used to look like him in the 4th grade" I swear the material just writes itself

So as one of the dates there was basically a menagerie in the back yard of the crib. I hate to say it, but damn that was a cool date.

(Oooh update) Turns out my guesses were correct, the chick's family hates that she is on the show! Out of empathy, I hate that she is on the show too. This show should only be for peeps whose families do not care about them or do not care how their family is portrayed. I do not fit in that category and you know what? THAT IS A GREAT THING!

Wow Flav can take a fly suit and ruin it! Let me just state, any and every suit is ruined the minute you attach a clock around your neck!

Flav is getting crazier, and crazier, which is hard to believe but the thing I like is that he still seems sincere (damn it thanks to Flav I nearly misspelled sincere and spelled it the Flavor way 'Sinceer').

UHmm Flav? Since when is France a city? "I am taking my girls to France, the city of love" Maybe we should have someone sit him down and explain to him the difference between Paris and the entire country of France.

Yeah boyeeee!

Cali J + VIP + good friends = vol 1.434

Whoo hoo! Great to see and have the becktator in town. Funny moment of the night; calling my male friend a ho, and having him freak out, because he took it personally and worried that it was true.

It is extraordinary to me that peeps are shocked that I call myself shy, watch me in the club for 10 minutes and you will see it. Granted the young lady who I just met and placed my arm around and sat down beside and nuzzled close to, might have been confused, but I was pretty clear re my shyness.

"She was screaming on the mic just b4 she came here"

The above is how Arsenio Hall (and come on Arsenio you are better than appearing on Flavor of love...aren't you?) described the fact that a contestant allegedly gave her ex some oral (fixation) just before appearing on the 'Reality' show.

Flavor Flav: "Honestly I do not know if I can handle a jealous woman Because I have millions and millions of girls throwing themselves at me"
--Word Flav? Millions of girls throwing themselves at you...man that means that there are millions and millions of crazy girls out there.

I hate myself every week for watching this show, and every week I watch it.

All the girls had their exes show up on this episode. One girl's ex met her on the beach in wait for it...San Diego. Really? That works? I know I am the shy guy but really it just does not seem like the spot to pick up a girl, at least not one for the long term...but what do I know. One of my friends met his girl at a club (where women take their clothes off) and they have been 2gether for FIVE years! I even think they had an Usher moment...you know what that is "Make love in the club."

I love that these girls are shocked that their exes call them out or say bad things about them. Heck that is practically the definition of an ex: Someone who no longer can stand "yo stank ass."

(A quick aside, I just saw a clip of the Bachelor that a friend sent to me (which is ironic since I am watching the Ghetto Bachelor at the same time) in it the Black girl had an 'argument' with one of the other girls. I call her the Black girl because that is how everyone knows her, Black women tend not to make it on the Bachelor and then of course this one went OFF! It is like watching the 'mad' Real World, you just sit there and hope someone will not 'show their ass' but sadly it seems only the crazy ARGUMENTATIVE black peeps make it on. BUT, let us not pretend, no race is exempt, most of the peeps on these shows are just crazy and nasty.) Ok back to your regular scheduled Flav update.

The girl named Tree (she is 6'3") wore a shirt with the stomach cut out and the boobs barely covered, hate to say it because I think big and tall girls need love too, but I think that shirt was made for a shorter woman. Then again it could just be that Flav is just so damn short, the whole date just seemed weird since Flavs head was basically right around the girl's bits!

I swear I know one of the Kats that ended up on this show as an ex Bf. I have to research this, I think he is actually boys with one of my friends.

So one of the girls has a problem with men that drink...ok cool...we all have our issues with things that peeps do...for instance the Cali J has a problem with peeps who smoke, hence I do not date girls that smoke...not telling you not to smoke I am just saying I will not date you, not your issue but mine...so let me see, you claim to know about Flavor Flav and you are shocked that he is drinking excessively? I empathize that your biological father was an alcoholic, but I do not think that you are going to be the one to change Flav! The man is a former crack head, his lips are black from smoke and he has 7 kids, trust me drinking is the least of your worries.

I maintain that the twin action thing is not cute after the age of EIGHT! And come on heifers jumping on the bed of an opponent...really? That cannot be acceptable oh wait a minute what am I saying? You 2 showed up on a reality show as twins trying to date the same man! Of course you are dumb and hoochieriffic!

(Wow Deion Sanders has a reality show now, all I want is to see a shot of his closet, I know it has to be a walk in closet and it will pretty much have suits in all colors of the rainbow, heck that could be a whole episode of the show, Deion modeling suits and peeps calling in to guess the exact color. "I think you are wearing fuchsia" Deion: "caller that was close but I am actually wearing a lilac/lavender blend with a heliotrope liner")

Ok the show is over, I need another shower, despite just showering after the gym, this show is just so damn sleazy.

On the gym note, crazy uncoordinated chick; was it necessary for you to stand right next to me in Cardio Kick Boxing and then kick to the left when the whole class was moving to the right? Thank goodness I had my guard up or I might have been wiping a shoe print of the front of my shorts...when I stopped panting in a squeaky voice.

2 guys walk into a bar...and just stare. Vol23

Shout out to Assassin! So the S.A. and I went to a bar last night and had a moment where we both were forced to realize..."We are not as cool as we think we are." So some background. Assassin and I both spotted this amazingly hot girl in the club at the same time, and I mean hot like the lyrics to "I wanna make LOVE in this club" start to make sense hot (will blog about that song later this week...it is just so damn ridiculous).

Anyway, the young lady made us both tongue tied. I am the first to admit that I have no lines, I do not use them, I do not rehearse them, so I have none. In fact when I 'pick up' a girl in the bar, it is usually an accident, like for instance I am making fun of something she did and it amused her, or, she picked me up but was nice enough to make it seem like I was the person making the move (I like that women try to save men's egos while knowing all the time that they are in control).

I mean this chick had us wrecked to the point that we played Rock, Paper, Scissors (discreetly of course) with the proviso that the loser had to go talk to her...Assassin lost, and he still has not said word one to her yet.

One of the best parts of the whole situation was that at one point the young lady looked us over, and then sat in a chair by the fire pit, directly infront of Assassin and I (we were at Altitude). So this meant that the young ladies head, (well the back of it) was directly at our crotches. I am just shy of 6 feet (6'4" with the fro) and Assassin is I think (6'4"...or something like that I can never remember, just know that he is tall).

So you would think that having the young lady right 'below' us would spur us into action...but nope, all it did was have us stare at each other and insist that the other should go talk to her. We then started trying to run through scenarios to get her to talk to us. Of course you would have expected normal peeps to conduct this in whispers but not SA and I, we conducted the whole conversation in normal bar tones. For the hottie to not have heard us she would have had to be deaf...yeah that is it she was deaf, that is why I did not spit game to her...not because I am a coward, but because she would not have been able to hear me...no clue what Assassin's excuse is. But that is mine!

So I guess the gist of this blog is to say...Assassin is a coward and he cannot pick up a girl even if she is deaf and practically has her head in his lap!








And the Cali J might be kind of weak at it too...might

Rock Chalk Jayhawk...and good friends

You know good friends are the ones who make you tilt your head, crinkly your mouth into a wry smile and say..."I need to avoid these people."

Tonight I watched the Kansas Jayhawks step up to the plate and provide us with a great national championship game! The last second shot by Chalmers to send the game to OT was amazing. Maybe now the big 12 will get some love. We put 2 teams in the Elite 8 and one team won it all. We are more than just a football conference...though we are great at that too.

Anyway after the game which was viewed at a brewery (but I did not eat or drink...I was still full from lunch) I headed to the gym and while at the gym received a call, ordering me to the bar that was next to my home...read back the old blogs and you will see where I both lamented and rejoiced the fact that a bar was literally on my block.

Let me back track, part of why I did not eat at the brewery was because I ate so much for lunch I was still full at dinner time, and since I had, had a drink with Delz during lunch it just did not seem practical to consume more alcohol. Of course after working out, the boozing restriction seemed less important.

When I went to the bar, my original intention was just to meet up with my friends cry mercy and go home to eat dinner since as noted above I had just worked out and needed nourishment. Instead once I entered the bar I was handed a G and T and it went downhill from there. The great thing about neighborhood bars is that they let you bring in outside food etc. I have never been carded at 'The Box' and I have never been hassled, so I went and got some snacks to eat inside the bar since their kitchen had already closed. And because I live Soooooooooooooooo damn close I actually ran upstairs to burn a CD for my friend while my next G and T was coming.

In fact when the neighborhood bar knows you, you can order a drink, take it to your table then leave the bar to go get the cash to pay for the drink...try doing that in a Gaslamp bar! On purpose though, I avoid the box unless others invite me to go there, and I NEVER drink alone, I maintain that rule.

But despite the pretense I loved spending time with my friends, it was great watching the game with the old USD crew and great hitting the Jewel Box with K and J, and it was fun playing the non-peacemaker role with the Twins for our late night Balboa Park excursion.

Canada will NEVER win a war...

So I always joke with my friends that we worry so much about Mexicans creeping into the country that one day Canada is just going to invade and take us all over.

Well after watching this video, I take it all back! This is a clip of some French-Canadians (the French war jokes just come too easily) firing a missile, the video is not doctored in any way, and the missile is real!



War is not funny, but damn this almost makes it seem like it could be.

Of Jamaican bomb makers and Music you should get...Estelle

Ok so I have to admit that when I first heard that a Jamaican had been held in an Orlando airport my first thought was "wow he must have had a tonne of drugs for this to make the news." Then I heard he had explosive material with him and I thought, "they must have gotten this wrong, no way a Jamaican tried to get on a plane with bombs". Then I found out it was explosive material, not put together and realized, it was probably much ado about nothing. BUT, in this post 9/11 world it is had to brush off any incident. Clearly this poor guy is messed up, The Jamaica Gleaners story about him, makes me realize there is no way this guy was going to hold it together much longer.

I am pretty certain that I am more sympathetic to him because he is Jamaican. I also think some of it has to do with the fact that he is flying with a beard that looked alot like the beard I flew up with. Plus, I am convinced through my non-scientific, scientific poll of just the people and stories I know, that going into the military and going to Iraq, completely messes with your brain.

I am also somewhat inclined to believe his story that he planned to blow stuff up in Jamaica and show his friends how to blow things up...my fear is WHAT HE PLANNED TO BLOW UP!

You should cop the Estelle album 'Shine' I am a big fan of hers. I am telling you to get the album even though I have only heard about 5 songs of hers. Look I have never steered you wrong on the blog. I know my music. While I listen to a lot of junk, my recommendations are always good. You will not regret getting her album. When I finish listening to it, I will tell you more, but her stuff is good. I would have gotten through more but I keep listening to the same songs over and over again.